How to change your lens to change your experience

Hola Mamas! How are you?

I am… meh. Have you ever been there? Neither good nor bad, just meh? Maybe it’s because I’m PMSing and maybe it’s because life has been a little overwhelming these days. Either way, I feel compelled to share my experience with you and I want to put it out to the Universe that even though I am in a dip, life is GOOD!

Most of us would have to admit that when we find ourselves surrounded by happy children, beautiful weather, unicorns and butterflies, we wish such a moment would never end. But then the children turn to wild beasts or the sun goes behind a cloud or the unicorn steps on the butterfly. What do we do then? 

The answer to this questions makes all the difference. If we decide that the moment of conflict or discomfort should not be happening or push the difficult feelings away, we hinder our ability to address it. Because, as you know, conflicts DO happen and we are better off if we accept that fact and invest our energy into productive ways to address it rather than just ruminating or worrying about it.

How do we address conflict so that it becomes an opportunity for learning and growth? Well, I have some thoughts on the topic…

From a RIE perspective, we are encouraged to step back from intervening too soon and smoothing obstacles for our children. Magda Gerber says, “To respect your child is to create a little distance so that you refrain form interfering with her experience of encountering life…RIE’s respectful approach encourages a child’s authenticity, or genuineness.” Imagine that- allowing our children to experience bumps and obstacles along the way and altering our view of them so that they become an opportunity for growth.

If we can do this for our kids we can certainly do it for ourselves!

Another way to look at challenges is through the perspective of a camera. Both of my parents are photographers, but you don’t need to know much about photography to know that the viewfinder of a camera will capture what it sees, and the shutter will click on a moment, freezing it in linear space and time. The more sophisticated photographer (not me!) can manipulate and control the outcome of her images by increasing or decreasing the shutter speed, by adjusting the aperture, by adding different lenses and filters to her camera. By mounting a polarizing filter, for instance, she can remove some of the harsh glare to create a richer, darker, more textured shot. A telephoto or a macro lens can capture sharp detail, a fisheye lens creates an interesting distorted fishbowl impression.

Getting back to my “meh” feeling… I can already feel my spirits lift as I look at these sensations through a different lens. 

What do your inner lenses and filters look like? To what extent have you amplified, enhanced, distorted, blurred, cropped, or polarized the reality of who you are? What does your world look like through your rose-cluttered glasses? Better yet, what does it look like when they’re clear? Share in the comments below or in the facebook group.

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