When my daughter was born, she didn’t meet the milestones many of my friends’ children were reaching. It’s continued into her early childhood, and it makes me question, “What am I doing wrong?!” In situations like these, we ask that question and look for answers to validate the problem.
My daughter is a happy, healthy kid. She has wonderful friends. People enjoy spending time with her. I don’t want this tendency for her to meet the same standards as other children to impact how I see her. Her ability to do certain things is no indication of my mothering. She’s an incredible young girl, and I’m an incredible mom!
What we SHOULD be asking is empowering questions. What are we doing that is right?!
You have two choices in life: aim low and go slow OR aim high and with urgency.
I like to go fast and be efficient. However, early motherhood taught me that aiming high and failing didn’t serve me as a mother. I gave myself permission to aim low. My house was not nearly as clean as it was pre-children. My marriage wasn’t as connected. The dog didn’t get walked as often. That permission that I gave myself allowed me to be ok with all of that.
There are still some things that I DID have as a high priority, but the important thing is that I wasn’t holding EVERYTHING to that high standard.
Take a look at your life. Are there areas where you feel resentful? Do you find yourself envying other women’s lives? These feelings are normal, and they can be a trigger to reflect on how you are living your life.
Instead of staring out the window and being envious, place your mind outside that window to have a view of how YOU’RE doing. How are you in your own life? What are these feelings telling you about what you want? Sometimes it’s difficult to admit what we want, and these feelings can give us an opportunity to really reflect.
Next, how can you get what you want? Realistically, of course.
I’m in a transition right now in my own life. My son just started preschool four days a week, and I have all of this extra time on my calendar and space in my life! I’m having more space and time for ME in this new phase of my life, which means I can aim high now. It’s exciting!
What phase of life do you find yourself in? Are you in a phase of life where you move more slowly and intentionally and act with mindfulness that you may not have needed before becoming a mom?
The season of your life will help determine your expectations. If your children are grown and more self-sufficient, I invite you to take this season to aim high for yourself.
Leave a comment below to share where you are in motherhood”