REFLECT 

The primary reason I’m inviting you to SIMPLIFY this month is because “DO LESS” is a huge part of having an empowered mindset. I am a believer that mindset is everything. Mindset will make the difference in every situation. 

Mindset is the difference between empowerment, competence and resilience versus suffering, victimization and feeling hard-done-by. 

Dealing with anxious thoughts, worries, concerns, fears, insecurities, inhibitions, and general ‘monkey mind’ can really distract us and pull us out of presence with ourselves and our families. 

Let me ask you, do you have repetitive thought patterns that don't serve you? Most people engage in cognitive fallacies, which are patterns of thinking that don't serve us well.

For example:

• Black-and-White Thinking (“I'm the best mom in the world, I'm the worst mom in the world”) 

• Perfectionism (“If I can’t do it perfectly, it’s not worth doing at all”) 

• Catastrophizing (If anything can go wrong, it will go wrong) 

• Personalization (Taking everything personally and getting easily offended)

• Discounting the Positives (Noticing everything that’s wrong with a person or situation and none of the things that are right)

• Fortune Telling (Predicting that things are going to turn out badly)

• Generalizations (It happened once so now it will always happen, or one person thinks that so now all people think that, etc.)

There are all sorts of cognitive distortions that are highly common and that you likely engage in repetitively. These are patterns we establish in childhood, often inheriting them from our parents. 

We tend to view the world through a particular lens without even realizing that it's a lens, let alone the fact that we could pick up a different pair of glasses and see the situation entirely differently. 

That's what a mindset shift is. It's when we're able to put one lens down and pick up a lens that’s more generous, charitable, helpful, optimistic, encouraging, and empowering to us and to those around us. We start to view the world in a more healthy, optimistic way that leaves us feeling open and empowered to problem-solving and moving forward. 

Because we're inside our own minds, it's very hard for us to see our own thought patterns objectively. We're trapped behind our lens, watching the world through those filters, unaware. 

For example, if I engage in the cognitive fallacy of discounting the positives when it comes to my child, I will start noticing all their tantrums, bad behavior, backtalk, whining, mess, etc. Then I might start to think in black-and-white (“I’m a terrible parent”), catastrophizing (“It couldn’t be worse”), and fortune-telling (“It’s always going to be this way”). On top of all that, I’m discounting all his positive traits, like his generosity, creativity, humor, and helpfulness. 

All of this is happening instantaneously and subconsciously. My brain is simply interpreting the information around me through my cognitive distortions and biases. If I have a bias to highlight the negatives, take things personally, or over-generalize situations, I will get stuck thinking that that is reality. 

Now, another thing that our brain tends to do is loop the same thoughts over and over again. We're basically listening to a tape on loop of the same types of thoughts and interpretations all the time. You're stuck listening to it because you never press pause. 

If that narrating voice in your mind is a helpful, encouraging voice, then you're going to feel very empowered and capable to handle your life and solve problems. You'll be more optimistic and resilient. 

But if you're listening to a tape that is stuck in all of these cognitive distortions that make everything seem bleak and depressing, that will ultimately take us to a powerless, helpless place. 

If you're stuck listening to that kind of voice, then that's going to influence how you feel and show up in the world.